I’ve discovered something about myself after that moronic post-loss. Swearing and ranting on a blog is very cathartic. VERY, VERY FUCKING CATHARTIC (See…feel better already). In pursuit of this (since this is the first thing to break me out of this horrible funk I’ve been in for the past week) I shall pursue a new posting format. 100% more swearing and 100% more ranting!!! The two things that I apparently love the most are now combined to bring you…THINGS I HATE!!!
This will be a semi-regular feature going uptill whatever amount of things I hate run out…which won’t be any fucking time soon since I hate a lot of fucking things…a lot a lot. So, without further delay, here’s THINGS I HATE #1: “Pure” Love.
I really fucking hate “Pure” relationships. For those who don’t know…this is the kind of relationship based on “true love” where the two people love each other so much *barf* that they don’t care about the physical aspect of their relationship. They just like each other’s company. Awww…what a load of CRAP!!! Ladies and Gentlemen…there is no such thing as a fucking “pure” relationship. The only reason guys get interested in girls is to get in their pants, and believe it or not, vice versa (sorry kids, but it’s true). It’s not even that hard to understand, it’s all biological after all. We are designed as a race to procreate and the people we are attracted to are people we believe can provide the best offspring to us. It’s too deeply ingrained to be denied. The people who claim otherwise are fucking liars and shouldn’t be believed. I hate it when people claim that they are only attracted to someone for the “purest of reasons.” It’s a lie…they know it, I know it, heck, the kid from across the street knows it.
GET OVER YOURSELVES!!! There’s nothing wrong with admitting that you’re hot for someone’s bod…if anything, I think the direct approach is much more unique and could actually prove to be advantageous in the long run. I especially hate this from guys (I know, I know, I’m perpetuating a fucking double standard…but fuck that! I don’t mind girls being slightly more…enigmatic. It’s part of their charm) What kind of pansy guy goes around spouting idiotic comments about his “pure” relationship? Someone who’s either retarded or emotionally handicapped. Heck, this “true” love is a sham anyway. There is no such thing as love. It’s a hormonal response to seeing a potential mate which blossoms into a pleasant feeling due to the proximity of what could prove to be very fruitful mating. That is what “love” is!! (Hi, honey!!)
In short…I FUCKING HATE pansies!!!
Ah…that was fun. Be here next time for more ranting…lots more…against gardeners and shit. (But never against ninjas, no…ninjas are cool…and mysterious…and I like ninjas…)