Lost: Exposé

I’ve been watching Lost for what feels like a long time now. I think my first episode was Season 1’s 6th or maybe 7th…and then I just got hooked…bought the DVD…and well the story is pretty much the same overall for every Lost fan, y’know? So, suffice to say, I’m a fairly casual/quasi-interested fan of Lost. I don’t really form conspiracy theories unless they’re staring me in the face. And I don’t really like it when they try to prolong the story like they did during season 2. So anyway…that’s the history. What does it have to do with this episode? Read on…

Honestly, like most people, I did not like Nikki and Paolo. It had nothing to do with them being new and everything to do with them being forced down the audience’s throats by suddenly being front and center when nobody knew anything about them. Hell, I was laughing my ass off at the Sawyer scenes today (“Who the hell are you?” “Who the hell is Nikki?” etc…) You know it was incredibly meta…but it made total sense because if we haven’t seen them  (and let’s face it…Sawyer, Kate and Jack are pretty much on the Big Brother house at this point. We know what’s happening with them practically 24/7.) then how the hell had Sawyer and the rest? So, after listening to the podcasts…I decided what the hell, I would approach this episode with an open mind and hope for the best.

If this episode made me do anything…it made me really, really hate Nikki and Paolo. Well…Paolo more than Nikki…but now I do detest both characters. Also, I really hope they don’t pull a Buffy (dig their way out of the grave)

Now, why do I hate them? First, Paolo is a whiny little pussy. Seriously…he decided not to share info that mysterious Locke told him would come back to haunt him because he felt it would cheapen their ‘love’? Bah. Also, why the hell would be remove the little doll from the toilet tank? Does Nikki make it a habit to pull open tanks just in case her diamonds fell from the sky, went into the hatch, opened the door to the bathroom, pryed open the tank and jumped inside? What the hell? The thing could’ve stayed hidden there with no one the wiser. It’s just lazy writing that makes me detest the character’s stupidity.

As for Nikki…gah! Why the hell did she keep around Artz’s little critters? Some kind of contingency just in case Paolo went crazy? Also…presumable those little insects have been in those containers for weeks. Since Artz died a long time ago. And I saw no air-holes. So unless the island has some kind of anaerobic insect life…I don’t see how they’re still alive. I did like her tv show outfit…that sounded cheesy enough to be interesting. 

Finally, the diamonds in the pants thing. Wtf? That’s the best he could come up with in the humongous time he had to hide the damned thing? Screw that! If I had $8 million in diamonds I would hide them in every place imaginable…but definitely not in my pants. Hell…considering how sharp those gems seemed…I question how they have not just worn through the velvet bag…and well…you do the math.

Either way…good potential episode…but it just fell flat in the execution and I want those two dead as doornails. Dead I say!!!

Tomorrow…if I wake up soon enough…I’ll prepare and post the latest Butt-Shots. Otherwise expect a review on…either Rock Bottom (which I just finished reading), or the latest Grey’s Anatomy (which well…made me realize that I may very well not be watching Grey’s Anatomy come this fall).   


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